I like to shower. Sealing myself away in a tile-guarded penitentiary, I’ll begin to forgive the world for its weight as the tongues of watery flames engulf my shoulders. When I’m finished reconciling myself, I’ll towel off and fit myself into my pink fuzzy robe. That’s when it starts. I set my course back to my room, beaming with the promise of selecting clothing for my newly shimmering body. And I’ll sit on my bed. And I’ll stay there. For half an hour, maybe even an hour. Time peels off of the blank walls before they fade completely; disappearing with the rest of my responsibilities as I sit in silence. Evading them through scrolling on my phone. At some point I’ll realize my dissatisfaction – a sunken feeling in my stomach beginning the tug-of-war I pick with myself. I’ll get up in 5 mins. In five minutes I don’t want to get up. I’ll stop at 5:45. Nothing changes between now and then. I’m at the whim of that weight I’ve just washed off. It paralyzes me. I hate this.
The familiar phenomenon of “post shower paralysis,” is a topical example of a concept that could be stopping you from living the life you dream of. We’re capable of forgetting our desire for our goals when the miniature present satisfaction becomes all too enthralling. Clothes are never picked out, projects are never started, and most poignantly, dreams are postponed. This state is referred to as “failure to launch,” which is when we’re aware of our goals and the desire to achieve them, yet fail to take the first step toward them. But if you know how important that first step is, why don’t you just take it?
We trust ourselves to achieve the goals of others every day. We go to school, or work, we meet deadlines dictated to us. When it comes to trusting ourselves, though, we become imposters. We’re afraid of lifting our fragile dreams out of their delicate cases, and bringing them into the injurious light of reality. If we fail, we only have ourselves to blame. Our hands may permanently scar while picking up the broken pieces, and we refuse the possibility of having that written on us.
Dreams, however, are far from fragile. Successful people are able to wager their dreams, betting on them; prepared to smile as they shatter. Those who truly believe in themselves understand who they are without their dream. A lack of fear lends itself to learning the resilience of dreams; that they can be thrown around, dropped, and tried over and over again. Dreams can’t break.
You have to believe in your own persistence. Don’t underestimate the power you have to pick yourself up. The “failure to launch” infection begins as a lack of confidence, specifically in regards to your ability to perform consistently. If you’re struggling with this, you’re likely not used to keeping promises to yourself, even if you successfully and consistently complete tasks every day. Practice setting small and specific goals for yourself, and following through. Promises to yourself are the most important promises you can make. Honor them as you would a deadline at work or school, and as you do this you affirm your importance to yourself and learn to genuinely trust yourself. Be sure to recognize your accomplishments as you achieve the goals you set, and you will increase your value to yourself.
The confidence necessary to start any journey comes from the trust you form with yourself. If you can follow through with your promise to go to the gym four times a week, or drink three bottles of water every day, you can scale your promises until your dreams are within reach. Make it easy for yourself to complete your goals – pack your gym bag the day before, or lay your clothes out before your shower. Treat them with the same respect you give to your highest enjoyment.
You don’t need to feel stuck, and you don’t need to be upset with yourself for failing to begin. Keep promises to yourself, and you might find your dreams start to feel grounded in genuine belief. Trusting yourself is an essential skill for living a pure and authentically purposeful life.