As I am sure we are all aware, the long-awaited finale of The Bachelor season 28 aired only a few short weeks ago. Now, if you haven’t had the privilege of tuning into this reality TV show before (you haven’t known the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of a man dating 30+ women at the same time) you’ve come to the right place. On the eve of March 25th, a season composed of annoying, manipulative women (not Maria though) and a bachelor who eerily resembles the little Italian sea monster/boy from Luca, came to an end; a bittersweet moment for sure.
While I am nothing but a follower of the masses when it comes to brain-numbing reality TV shows such as these (I commuted an hour to watch said finale with my family, it really isn’t the same without my 50-year-old dad’s commentary), I am conscious enough to acknowledge the faults of this perfectly entertaining competition. To begin my critiques, I feel as though I am required to dive into the mind-boggling concept of it all: a gaggle of fame-hungry women are presented to a single eligible bachelor. Said bachelor, for lack of a better description, resembles one of the College Ave frat guys who make me feel the need to answer a “dire phone call” (I’m calling my mom) while passing those infamous brick buildings to avoid the inevitable across-the-lawn small talk (unless this isn’t a universal experience). This eerily familiar man then has his pick of the litter, the ability to choose his future wife from the crowd while spreading as much herpes as humanly possible.
Other than appeasing the inner Neanderthal of all men, I don’t see the appeal of desperately fighting the Eiffel Tower’s height in women for the attention of a man. Even if I were able to avoid my aversion to ever putting myself in a sister-wife situation, I believe being surveilled 24/7, panopticon style, would still be a dealbreaker.
However, while I still stand by never participating in such a disgrace to modern feminism, I never said anything about deriving entertainment from such productions. The contestant interactions and personalities are either too good or too bad to be true, both of which keep my interest piqued for the duration of the season. For example, our past season’s collection of women included all our favorite obvious cliches: we had the villain, Sydney Gordon (or any of the other Voldemort-esque characters cast this season), the relatable one, Rachel Nance, and the sweetheart, Kelsey Anderson.
Absent from this list, however, is the most impactful contestant of the season. The rapid idolization of Canadian contestant, Maria Georgas, was a noticeable development throughout the season. However, if The Bachelor is still fighting its way up your “to-be-watched” list, you may be surprised to find out that Georgas was actually openly disliked by many of her fellow cast-mates.
It seems the reason for this lies in the fact that Maria serves as a role model for young women watching from all over the world; in an ocean of elegant fish, all of whom ready to lure her right into the fisherman’s trap, Maria (a fish, in this metaphor) never lost her grace and character. Her confidence and vibrant personality, something that could be felt through the screen, was the saving grace of the season. Consequently, (spoiler warning) she was not picked by Joey (Luca’s lookalike) or as the next bachelorette. Makes perfect sense, producers- another great job!
Now, despite identifying as a loyal member of the “Bachelor Nation”, when this season came to its nail-bitingly dramatic conclusion, I was forced out of my brain-dead trance to ask the question: if I were Kelsey Anderson right now (second spoiler of the day), would I even accept Luca’s final rose? Let’s say I did, would we realistically work after rewatching a season of my fiance sucking face with an LX bus-load of women, days before proposing to me? The answer is a resounding: no.