by Brielle Diskin
Underneath the stockpile of the politically tumultuous past couple of months is the illusive New York Times anonymous op-ed. In early September, The Times published an anonymous Op-Ed written by a senior official in the Trump Administration. The Times left the name of the writer anonymous to protect their job from being in jeopardy. Following it’s publishing, a game of “who stole the cookies from the cookie jar” ensued on the world stage and forced us all to learn what the word “thwart” means.
It reads like a bad parent-teacher conference. An 880+ word public service announcement simultaneously confirming our worst fears and doing little to help them. Truthfully, the so-called freedom fighters are just a series of private conversations to help their own mental insanity.
I was tempted to write to Tina Fey and tell her I found the inspiration for Mean Girls 2: The Tyrannical Cheeto. Recent events and the alleged resistance create an image in my mind. A school cafeteria where a coo to overthrow the Queen Bee is being plotted. The “It Girl” is on the chopping block and someone from his “army of skanks” has had enough. We have a real life Gretchen Wieners’ in the White House.
So who is Gretchen Wieners? Who stole cookies from the cookie jar? Well, there is a short list of suspects. We know that the writer is a senior official in the Trump Administration; based on this information their morals are not exactly rock solid. We know that the writer is fairly articulate and highly educated, at least enough to use words like “thwart” or “incestuous”. We know that the writer is slightly cowardice as they’ve chosen to hide behind the curtain whilst touting their own bravery.
In the hunt for the culprit, a few names got thrown into the hat of culpability. A few being Counselor to the President— and female robot—Kellyanne Conway or the Director of National Intelligence, Senior Advisor or Dan Coats or Jared Kushner or his own son, Donald Trump Jr. or potentially the 48th Vice President of the United States—and the whitest guy you’ll ever meet—Mike Pence.
One word in the “explosive Op-Ed” has gripped the public eye and pointed a finger at Mike Pence—“Lodestar.” The obscure word traditionally and contemporarily refers to one that serves as an inspiration. The writer used the word to describe late Senator, and America’s most treasured maverick, John McCain. Pence has been known to use the word on numerous occasions. So, is Pence a genius leaving us vocabulary breadcrumbs? Or is the slip just a byproduct of incompetency?
Or was it the work of a mastermind, a political spinster, a traitor to women everywhere, Kellyanne Conway (who ran Trump’s campaign)? Neither would necessarily surprise me, but I assumed their noses were far too brown at this point to ever go as far as to lead a resistance against their master. And what is the likelihood that Mike Pence would ever contact The Times?
Three factors need to be looked at: who had the means, the motive, and the opportunity? Jared Kushner had the means because he is not only a senior member of the administration, he married into the Trump family. And If my father-in-law openly eye-banged my wife—his daughter— I would have sure motive to retaliate. And although he’s a member of the worst period presidency period ever, he is a northeastern Jew from New Jersey, more likely to confide in one of the most anti-trump publications (The Times) than Vice President Pence is.
The writer is merely saying that the house is on fire, but don’t worry we are going to get the fire extinguisher but none of us are brave enough to break through the glass and deal with the cuts. Even Gretchen Weiner had the guts to stand up against Regina in front of Regina. Are we all just waiting for the day that someone (@congress) will tell Donald Trump he can’t sit—in the Oval Office—with us.
Whoever the writer is, they’ve done nothing but a service to themselves in trying to save face. Stealing papers off Trump’s desk in an attempt to derail the workings of a narcissistic madman is not a real resistance. Real resistances defy their government, they withstand establishments that go against their beliefs and they don’t hid behind a keyboard curtain to do so.
There are real resistances against this administration and they are informing the public in newsrooms or guiding the future generation in classrooms or marching in crowds through city streets. Real resistances have brought down French monarchies, Russian oligarchs, freed slaves, brought civil rights, gave the women the right to vote, and many other moments in human history that were noble than this one.
If the writer wants to consider this a resistance than so be it. But if this a resistance than call me Spartacus for I am the Op-ed writer…
If you are an American citizen you have an inherently vested interest in who the President of the United States is. If you are resistant to this painful presidency, you are the Op-Ed writer. We are all a part of the resistance and we are all the unintentional writers of the Op-Ed.