A friendly piece informing you what is going through the cashier’s mind while they are ringing up your foodstuffs. If you follow these simple tips shopping will be a more pleasant experience for both parties.

You wouldn’t want your eggs to end up broken in the bottom of the bag now, would you?

Don’t Do This:

  • Not putting your meat products in a plastic bag. Blood is gross, and I personally don’t want it on my hands during my shift. Animal juice doesn’t go well with your Capt’n Crunch so wrap up your ground beef.
  • Bringing more than 15 items into the express lane. It doesn’t make you a rebel, it makes you a jackass.
  • Paying with a check. Get with the program. This isn’t 1997 anymore.
  • Leaving the line to go get something without notifying me. I have no idea when you will be back from the neverland you ventured off to and neither do all the people waiting in line for you to return.
  • Talking on the phone the entire time I am ringing you up. The entire store doesn’t need to hear about the time you dressed your dog up as a pumpkin.

Don’t Say This:

  •  “Were you waiting for me?” This is always a great line, especially when I hear it at least ten times a day. NO, I was not waiting for you random man I have never talked to in my life; I don’t even know your name. Stop trying to pick up girls at the grocery store; sign up for Match.com.
  • “Are you open?” This one is bad in two senses. If my light is on then yes I am open. If my light is off and I am cleaning my register, please figure it out so I don’t have to let you down. Aw man, Bummer.
  • “Do you work here?” No I wear this dashing uniform for shits and giggles.
  •  “Can I have double paper?” If you are going to be so picky do it yourself, or at least help me. We only have one earth!
  • Any excuse for not having your savings card. I don’t care if you switched your purse, you don’t remember which number it’s under, or that your ex wife took it in the divorce.

Wanna be a great customer? Interact like a normal human being. Use your manners, maybe make one awkward joke about the weather, then leave. 

Nicola Keegan

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