No, not that dang Mitt Romney, I mean Matt Romney. Matt, together with his running mate Rob Paul, have used the Internet to provide comic relief to the politically cynical and generally bored everywhere. This candidate espouses the powerful American values of Conservatism, Atheism, and of course, partying. He even manages to do this all the while being a great single dad! The only weakness in his campaign is his spelling, and really his grammar too, but who needs that? You can see some of his most notable campaign promises below, but if you want to learn more about this revolutionary political campaign, check out his Facebook.
Lee Seltzer is a contributor for the Rutgers Review.