by Faith Franzonia
Self-care, the occasional face mask we feel obligated to slap on our faces in order to take a sultry selfie in. Maybe we treat ourselves to a new pair of shoes every couple of months, make promises to wake up earlier, or begin to listen to self help podcasts in the mornings. This is not self care. At least not all of it.
Am I the only one who is tired of the boiled down and regurgitated brand of self-care / self love that consumes my Instagram feed?
Example A.
I’d like to note now, I am in no way arguing for us to throw face masks to the flames or report all posts that include #bodypositivity. I am simply asking us to recognize what self care really involves and not the definition of self-care that advertisers have designed for us through a tunnel vision scope that’s exclusively interested in profit.
The two faults I find with this type of self care is that it feeds both the patriarchy’s gender norms and capitalism’s beloved beauty industry. Capitalism and the patriarchy inundate women with beauty products claiming to improve their appearance and, thus, lead a happier and more successful life. Corporate advertisers’ favorite demographic is women for they have perfected profiting off of girls’ and women’s insecurities. Since men are not allowed to express insecurities, these tactics are not used as blatantly on them. There is the constant pressure for aging women to retain their youth, seen with $80 anti-aging creams that women are recommended to start using in their 20s, or younger. Advertisers even target young girls, with companies like Claire’s normalizing full makeup kits for 5 year old girls.
I’d like to quickly note that self-care is a fairly modern concept that was picked up during the rise of the women’s and civil rights movements. Leaders of said movements transformed self care from a traditionally medical concept into a political act of resistance. Doctors began prescribing “self care” habits in order for the elderly and mentally ill to self treat and practice healthy living habits before stepping into a pharmacy. Then, self care as a form of activism arose upon the realization that individual rights start with ownership over one’s body and mind. Activists adopted this medical practice up as part of the resistance towards gaining autonomy over their bodies and minds.
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare”
– Audre Lorde
By women and people of color reclaiming themselves, they can tear apart the racist, homophobic, and sexist caste system that upholds American government and health care system that often fails them.
So yes, self care in all forms is important and effective and necessary. It is resistance. It is life. But, we need to combat this attempt at pigeon-holing of what self care is and is not. Who it is for and who it is not for. Taking the power out of the hands of product-flinging corporations who try to portion out and sell the keys to self love. Corporations who have made face masks, anti-aging serums, and other unnecessarily overpriced products into a sort of mascot of modern self love.
On searching #selfcare on Instagram, I unsurprisingly came across a slew of gender-targeting posts. As I sifted through posts about fresh nails, spa days, and some girl’s emotional and spiritual journey to veganism, I felt a pang of sympathy for men, especially straight, cis men (rare, I know). On searching “Self Care Routine” on YouTube, it took me until the 48th video to find one male self-care routine. Self-care has been set aside for women with the sole goal of profit, and we have literally been buying into it.
True self care involves subtracting from your life more so than adding. Capitalism is that perpetual voice in the back of our heads that is drilling into us to add, add, add to our life so as not to feel incomplete. But, they don’t really care! If you don’t believe me, consider the fact that Dove, who has all these self-love campaigns, shares the same parent company, Unilever, as Fair & Lovely, a skin-lightening cream corporation which clearly embodies and capitalizes upon self-hate, especially in countries like India, where skin tone is tightly laced with one’s place in society.
While Dove is saying this…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxgUH4xD9H8
Fair & Lovely is saying this…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXqcEeImXJc
It’s essential to criticize messages that the media puts out in order be aware of what we are consuming and, thus, silently allowing to continue.
So, what is self-care and how do we practice it without spending a ton of money or being gender-exclusive? It’s essentially just being self aware and checking in on yourself, but here are some questions that may help you discern what you need to care for.
- Am I taking care of my physical and mental health?
2. Do I take pride in how I present myself to the world (not just physically)?
3. Are there any ways in which I can clear out my life?
4. Are there things I want to add to my life?
5. Do I give time to those I care about?
6. Do I give time to myself?
7. Am I satisfied with how I am existing within the world?
Therapy and Counseling at Rutgers : http://health.rutgers.edu/medical-counseling-services/counseling/