So let’s just say, that just this once
I don’t get up.
I ignore the ring of my alarm,
I ignore my need to succeed,
and I just lay in bed.
If I stay here,
Between my covers,
If I ignore the rising sun,
Shut my nose to the smell of fresh brewed coffee,
Ignore the chirping birds,
Then,
What will today be?
If I pretend that I can’t read time,
If I close my shades,
Turn off the lights,
Will the dark remain?
Will the stars continue to glisten?
Will I continue to dream?
Or will the light creep in,
Between the shades,
And I’ll see a shadow of who I could’ve been,
Will the silence break me?
Will I be alone,
Feeling bored and like a wasted space,
Unaccomplished, and ashamed.
Or will I be happy because I’m exactly where I need to be,
Ecstatic, cheerful to be me
No set goals,
No set disappointments
No unaccomplished dreams.
If I never set out to achieve, I’ll never fail.
But will I feel empty,
Because I can’t be identified as a reflection of the people around me,
I can’t mirror my self worth from people’s reactions to me.
No one to validate me.
No one to question me.
Without time, without light,
Without a schedule, without life,
Without people, am I me?
Time, I need you to teach me,
Because I am not like you,
You are perfectly calculated.
I am reckless,
You are infinite,
I am breakable,
You are the perfect balance of past, present, future
I am shameless,
You are one whole, every second, every minute, every hour, is you.
I am my actions, my words, my mistakes, my accomplishments,
All separate entities of this being, I call Sury.
I know I am not perfect, I know I can be better,
But I can’t seem to push myself in the right direction.
Teach me how to work like clockwork, because you are clockwork.
Take away my ability to be rash, rude, and thoughtless.
Take away my edge,
Make me like you.
And one day, when I am like you,
Planned to perfection,
I can only hope you took away enough of me,
That I don’t know that I lost myself in the process.
By: Sure Kotliar