Cicada Invasion 2014

Any day now, millions of cicadas will be rising from the ground and will force me to develop agoraphobia. I refuse to leave my house while zombie bugs that fly, are big and creepy, and make noises like high powered lawn equipment are all up in our space. Buried underground for more than a decade, the cicadas are readying themselves for ratchet tree sex. To prepare you for the invasion, here are some pros and cons for coexisting with one of nature’s oddities.

Pros: Cons:

Hakuna Matata, they don’t bite	They drink fluids from trees and may mistake your arm for a tree.
Cicadas will only rein for 4-6 weeks, yikes!	They fucking fly in packs; look up cicada invasions!
Can be eaten and are used for culinary dishes around the world.	Cicadas pee and can be mistaken for rain. It’s called honey dew.
Great excuse to have a cicada themed party -_-	Female cicadas may mistake machinery with similar humming sounds to male singing. Use lawn mowers with precaution.